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The Decision...
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The Decision... I've been working and living in the Middle East for years (3 years in Abu Dhabi and 9 years in Dubai) it's crazy when I think how time flies so fast. my younger sister arrived here first before I joined her 6 month later. We worked in different companies so when I came, I met her like after 1 month. I still remember when I met her finally, I cried uncontrollably hugged her and told her that I hate it here and wanted to go home. by that time I never lived on my own and to be fair..im kinda a spoiled brat!!! I'm an older sister but she's the that always protected me lol... I'm the weak in the family. but I did stayed and survived this long. she left for Qatar 3 years ago. she asked me many times join her there. I always said no. but it was always in my mind since my break up..I wanted get of this place so bad. nothing left for me here. my surprised, I got an offer from my old boss go there days ago. theres more of course and most importantly is that I'll be with my sister. The jobs mine if I want it. but my feeling months ago and my feeling now is different. like now, I'm standing here in my balcony looking this city...I don't love being here but some part of me don't want go anymore...why? I kinda forced my mind think that I need go, that I should go..I keep telling myself.. fuck Indi why you want be all alone here? my mind told me to go but not my heart...and I was like...wtf? I was never never an indecisive person..at all. normally I can make a decision like a second..whether it's good or bad. I dont know... I still have time till after my vacation to decide. but it bothers me now and then...I want think that I might have something to hold me here but maybe it's just an illusion..just a wish...a wish that without me saying it out loud, I know all it's ever be is just a wish. I can't keep my heart and my mind synchronise...did I even make sense? I wish some of you that reading this was closer to me because I think I need a slap....seriously.... oh well, still looking to this city, still asking myself...why I want stay? maybe deep down inside I know the reason? maybe I'm just in denial of the reason? maybe I'm embarrassed of the reason because it can't be a reason at all?? story of my life...me and my fucked up mind  still can't decide. view from my balcony at night...  |
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nice
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6/18/2019 5:09 pm |
Very nice
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6/18/2019 5:47 pm |
could it be that you are comfortable where you are... i mean your job,your friends the life you have gotten used to... there is no gain in standing still... we were meant to move forward. all you have to do is decide where forward is for you there is a world of difference between insanity and stupidity
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Like someone says on the comments, always move forward Despiite the fact a place grows inside us - especially one we have strived to survive and accomplish things As for the slap, as you were standing on the balcony, count me in !  ( you can imagine the body part I suppose)  Cheers my lady P
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Nice view. Maybe you're arguing with yourself as you have settled in to the current job and don't want the hassle of moving again, even if that move means a better job and nearer to your sister. But then, if you turned it down, would you be forever regretting it? Difficult choices to make.
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Maybe after a little time goes by you'll come to feel more clearly whether you want to stay or go. I hope so. It is tough to not know what to about such a big thing.
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Knowing your situation somewhat, I know that right now, you are afraid of the change. You've lived in one country for a while, settled your roots, and now that a better situation comes along, you are afraid of leaving the place you are in now, as that it will be leaving behind what you know. Change is always a scary thing. But it's ultimately healthy for you do this and make this move, Indi. I've always been an advocate for always moving forward. And going to be with your sister in a new company might seem intimidating at first, but it's a good thing, because you will have your sister there to support you. Family is important. And he's the most important thing....you in your own words said that you don't like being there. When I don't like being in one place, then it's time to go to somewhere else that's better for you. You answered your own question. For now, burn up that vacation time from your place, and get situated to go be with your sister. You will need that support and I say it's a good thing to do. Who can you call on to save the day? Why none other than... Agent 
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I have been in that same situation that you are in. Go with what your Heart tells you. I know that is easier said that done. Good luck with you choice.
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I have been in that same situation that you are in. Go with what your Heart tells you. I know that is easier said that done. Good luck with your choice.
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6/19/2019 6:18 pm |
" I still remember when I met her finally, I cried uncontrollably hugged her and told her that I hate it here" " I need go, that I should go..I keep telling myself.. fuck Indi why you want be all alone here? my mind told me to go but not my heart." so i can understand afraid. especially when you look out from the balcony and see the comfort you have had the last few years... so when you get to qatar get a place even higher up. do not let fear become your master ever!!  there is a world of difference between insanity and stupidity
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Hey Darlin, ..........I always go with My gut on Tough Decisions,........Then again I am a multiple felon with a bit of a sheet,........So, maybe flip a coin?.......... Sinfully Yours, backpocket13
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thanks
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