Ramblings of the depraved.....
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Just between you and I
Posted:Sep 26, 2016 5:20 pm
Last Updated:Apr 1, 2020 3:39 pm
1 comment , 22 Pending
Bring Home Crafts
Posted:Apr 2, 2020 2:49 am
Last Updated:Apr 2, 2020 3:51 am

How do you know the Spawn is getting bored?

She texts you an SOS message at work to "bring home crafts".

I'm going to have to get creative and find some useful ways for her to spend her time.

I wound up buying a couple of canvases, some stencils, and acrylic paint for her to get creative with. I'm actually kind of excited to see what she comes up with.

She's a pretty creative little stinker.....

If I come home to a canvas full of artistically painted virus images, I'm taking away those paints!

My first thought when I had the idea to do canvases, and I'll admit I laughed when I thought it, was she'll probably paint some stupid viruses or something on these things.

Which led to me picking out stencils....
The Work BFF
Posted:Apr 1, 2020 3:59 am
Last Updated:Apr 2, 2020 2:25 am

I don't get a chance to work with him often anymore, but I really appreciate the time I do get.

It's raise time where I work and this year the raises didn't come from the management staff within.

They came from the next level up on the corporate chain.

Unfortunate for those of us who have leaders that only give a Meets Expectations, no matter how hard you kick your ass, because "there's always room for improvement".

The worst part about the whole thing is when the Boss Duo start the process by saying "You KNOW how we feel about you! You KNOW how much we appreciate you....."

But, here's your pidly 2.7%, less than cost of living raise.

"This is NOT the raise we submitted. We were upset when this was what was returned to us, this is something that is out of our control, though. In an effort to keep it fair and consistent...."

Etc, etc....

"But we know now, going forward, we need to be more diligent in rating you on what your efforts are instead of....."


I don't know how many times I've heard.... "Don't worry about them! Don't worry about what corporate thinks! I do your eval, I decide your raise!"


What does this have to do with the Work BFF?

He came to my office to tell me about his incentive talk, I was still smarting over mine that happened on Monday.

I couldn't stop myself and started telling him about my experience and how disappointed I felt. Before I knew it I was getting teary eyed and said I had internalized a bunch of it and apologized.

He was getting teary eyed too.

Thankfully his phone rang and someone came to my office in search of help with something, so the conversation ended, otherwise I'm certain I would have ended up breaking down and crying.

How do you know a work bff is a true friend?


Only a true friend will have empathy for what you are going through.
And.... Cut!
Posted:Mar 31, 2020 4:02 am
Last Updated:Apr 2, 2020 2:29 am

Monday was a complete fucking bust, all the way around.

From my raise, to my conference call, to my drive home, to my text conversation last night....

A complete fucking shit show.
Saturday night in...
Posted:Mar 30, 2020 3:47 am
Last Updated:Apr 2, 2020 2:26 am

Your fingers were entwined in my hair as I smoothed my hand across your lower abdomen...

Lying upon my bed, I had been sleeping while you watched the new season of Ozark, unable to sleep.

The muscles and skin grew tight as your cock was becoming firm... Sliding my hand down, just a little further, I felt the soft skin of the head of your penis in my hand, pulsing.

"Oh! I bought something to wear for you!"

"I know. I've been patiently waiting for you to break it out all night."

"I totally forgot until just now! Hold on...."

Hopping up, I grabbed the innocuous looking garment box from atop my jewelry armoire and headed into the bathroom to spruce up and change.

"What do you think?"

Emerging from the bathroom, I walked toward where you were laying and stood beside you.

The smile....

Throwing the covers back, you scootched in and patted the bed beside you.

"I think I like it."

Climbing astride you, I bent down to kiss you several times before finally inching back to take your cock in my mouth.

When I'm above you, the head of your cock fills my entire mouth....

I squeezed your shaft with my hand, my lips slipping past the ridge of your cock as I slid my tongue across the tip to taste the precum.

This didn't last long as I wanted you inside me so badly.... Up until now, the evening had been merely talking and streaming Netflix.

I took my place beside you, your hand quickly finding it's way between my thighs...

Something I've grown to lust for.
Portal to hell?
Posted:Mar 29, 2020 4:44 pm
Last Updated:Mar 30, 2020 5:40 pm

Or, the downstairs neighbors apartment....

One in the same.

The snow has finally melted enough that I could use the walking path behind my apartment get a walk in.

It felt amazing just get out of the apartment and stretch my legs a little.  
my way back I could see the downstairs neighbor's apartment from a distance.

It was white trash squalor.  

The blinds are literally stained yellow from the nicotine in their cigarette smoke. 

I've never seen anything like it.  

The closer I got the building, the more I noticed.

The screen their door wall now has a giant hole in it, presumably from one of the many dogs they have.  Dogs they NEVER let out of the apartment....

I avoided looking into the apartment itself as the last time I did so I caught a sight I wish to never see again...  But I did notice there was a pile of cigarette butts on the ground by the edge of their cement patio.  

On the windows and doors were window clings of snowflakes and winter themed decorations.

I've never heard one, but it made me wonder if there as a down there.
I hope to God there isn't...

I can't even imagine what it's like down in that apartment, cause after one month of having my air purifier, I've already needed to change the filter.
Totally Scandalous
Posted:Mar 28, 2020 7:10 am
Last Updated:Mar 30, 2020 2:25 pm

So, yah. I plan on breaking the social distancing rule today.

I figure, I'm out there every day at work coming into contact with God knows how many people between the new hires and the customers...

The least I should be able to do is enjoy myself on my frigging day off.

Dontcha think??

Hell, he's the one living dangerously, I might add. I'm probably way more risky considering I'm the one who's been out in the world exposed to the public at large. He'd better be coming equipped with the tools to take my temperature, a hazmat suit, and sanitizer.

That's when the fun really begins...

Hey baby.... I like it when you stroke my tarp encased penis region.

How about laying a little on the ole respirator mas

Mmmm.... That's a lovely mixture of bleach and alcohol based hand sanitizer you're wearing.

My one burning question is... Just how long does this 2 week quarantine last? I mean, it's been 2 weeks already for me since all this chaos started. Is it 2 weeks each time I'm exposed the public? I'll be forced social distance myself for the rest of my life.
Last night I had a dream...
Posted:Mar 27, 2020 3:18 pm
Last Updated:Mar 31, 2020 5:34 pm
I had a dream that I was getting romantic with Nose Hairs.


I heard him talking today about how he didn't have to worry about getting hair cuts anymore because all the 'hair cutting places' are now closed.

I'm certain that was meant for my benefit as I told him the other day he needed a hair cut, he was starting to resemble Kaitlin Jenner.

He responded with.... Ok Piglet.

Which made me realize... this guy is keeping tabs on my faceplace posts. I had posted this because it had made me laugh the moment I saw it and I knew it had to be shared.

I pictured myself more as the Pooh Bear though....
Fucktards and Imbeciles
Posted:Mar 26, 2020 5:12 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2020 6:43 am

They are a plenty these days....

As I was walking into work this morning my friend Suzy Q yelled hello to and waved from behind her counter.

Smiling and waving back, I returned her greeting and yelled "Good Morning Suzy Q!"

At that moment a rando woman who was walking ahead of me turned and gave me the hairy eyeball.

"Do I know you!"

"Um, nope."

"How do you know my name??"

"I said hello my friend Suzy Q behind the counter. Contrary popular belief, the world doesn't revolve around you."

She didn't like my response, or the fact that I said it with a smile on my face with a light, airy tone....

The population at large was kind of pissing off today.

Between the lady who came 'shopping' because she wanted to stretch her legs and we were the only place she could go legally and the new hire who completely ignored me during her onboarding, I'm feeling a little disgusted with the human race.
Is it just me....
Posted:Mar 26, 2020 2:23 am
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2020 7:23 am
Or does Senator Mitch McConnell appear to be a reanimated corpse??

I've seen him now on several press conferences and news briefings, and every time, I wonder to myself if he's an actual human.

Does the man have any other facial expression than Zombie??

Just another one of those things that make me go....


Lunch Time Lingerie
Posted:Mar 25, 2020 4:05 pm
Last Updated:Apr 1, 2020 8:06 am

Note self: When shopping for lingerie online at lunch, do not sit with your back oncoming traffic.

Learned this lesson the hard way.

I had been toggling back and forth between 2 items when I suddenly heard, "I like the black one."

Startled, I spun around to find Pervy Coworker standing behind looking over my shoulder.

" my God, how long have you been there??"

"Long enough know I like the black one and you should get the matching panties you were just looking at."

Kill now.

Every time I see this guy, now, I'm going be wondering if he's picturing in that skimpy thing.

I read somewhere once...
Posted:Mar 24, 2020 4:18 pm
Last Updated:Mar 26, 2020 4:48 pm

That our ears continue to grow our entire lifetime.

At the time, I scoffed it off.... This couldn't possibly be true. If it were, we would all be tripping on our earlobes and resemble something similar to the cartoon image of Dopey, the dwarf.

After seeing my last applicant of the day today, I've rescinded that thought.

I could see his ear hair entering my office long before I ever saw him.

Giant, hairy, stretched out earlobes flapping in the breeze as he gimped toward my office.....

I felt myself staring at them much like an onlooker staring at a horrific traffic accident.

Am I staring?

OMG, I'm staring!!

Can he see me staring???

Arg!! Why can't I stop staring????

It took every ounce of self control that I had to look away from the small flake of dandruff that was precariously dangling from the cluster of wiry, gray ear hair jutting out of the side of his lobe.

I only hope it didn't manage to fall off and land somewhere in my office.


Which leads me to this thought.

Nose Hairs has a live in girlfriend and Earlobes has a wife.

Why aren't the looking out for these men???

I was always looking out for my husband when we were married... I wanted him to look his best. If he had something in his mustache, I would tell him. If he had a weird eyebrow hair, I would take care of it. Sometimes he would miss a spot or two when he was shaving, and I would help him with it....

Isn't that what we're supposed to be doing for our significant others?

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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
Bring Home Crafts (2)69ereatwetpussy
Apr 2, 2020 5:14 am
Saturday night in... (16)fwblook4unow
Apr 2, 2020 2:55 am
And.... Cut! (19)pagancountrygirl
Apr 1, 2020 6:30 pm
The Work BFF (10)mc_justmc
Apr 1, 2020 6:03 pm
It's a friends only post..... (9)jajo696
Mar 31, 2020 8:50 pm
Last night I had a dream... (17)69ereatwetpussy
Mar 30, 2020 6:18 pm
Portal to hell? (16)easy_going2014
Mar 30, 2020 5:02 pm
Lunch Time Lingerie (44)tickles4us
Mar 30, 2020 9:54 am
Totally Scandalous (33)lindoboy100
Mar 30, 2020 3:38 am
Is it just me.... (13)tickles4us
Mar 28, 2020 10:32 am
Fucktards and Imbeciles (15)pagancountrygirl
Mar 27, 2020 4:33 pm